My Ink is finally done!

Finally, my tattoo is complete! It took a good 3 sessions to get it done, and after every session, i had to wait at least a month until there was an opening slot to book an appointment. Oh well, I'd say the pain was worth it, but the waiting is what kills me. I thought it could have been completed in 2 sessions, but not the case. I will not shit you. It hurts like a bitch especially when the needle starts hitting certain tender parts of your arm and boney areas. BONEY areas here refer to parts where it's just mere skin and bones like the shoulders. Im not refering to any BONEY BONERs. NO, i will never tattoo my BONER. Are you nuts??? How would it look like once it's shrivelled up??? Well the fun doesn't stop here. After the pain then comes the scabbing fun. It will start to itch like a bitch! (hey, that rhymes! itch like a bitch!) The cream the tattoo shop gives does help to sooth but not for long!

Well anyway, since my right arm is done, now i've gots to go do some research on what i want to tat on my left arm... hmmm.... Wish i could do a whole sleeve but difficult for the industry i'm working in. So i guess a half sleeve will do. While im thinking of what to do with my left arm, i better start thinking about what i wanna do for my back as well.. haha

Pledging support for our fury friends!

Sorry folks for the temporary hiatus! The pass couple of weeks have been hectic and pretty eventful, what with all the running around rushing for project dateline and hand overs. With about 2 working days left in the company, you'd think that i'll probably be shaking leg by now. Totally NOT THE CASE. Today itself i just completed a major system migration with a margin for error thinner than air itself. I shall not dwell into the details on why my current employers don't seem to give a flying fuck about a proper handover. It's not that they dont. Its just too complicated.. and i'm leaving that complication to rest. Hell, it's not gonna be my complication anymore in a week's time. So let it be... breath innnn..... breath outtt.... fuuhhhhhhh.....

Well anyway, back to my eventful week. I celebrated my 28th Birthday last week. There was dinner with Shin on Wednesday.... Then my colleagues treated me to Italian Food @ SS2 on Thursday... (THANKS GUYS!), I celebrated at home with family on Thursday night too... with the traditional cake in all it's glory.. and of course, the drunken fest on Friday at Barcelona @ Sunway with my GF Shin and best buds from Klang. Needless to say i was plastered by the end of the night. You kinda expect that when there's 30 jugs of beer on the table, not to mention you're doing shooters between beer, flaming lambo's and AK-47's. PUKING IS NOT OPTIONAL. My friends were kind enough to put me up in a hotel for the night, and paid for me too! Thanks guys!

This week, there was again another celebration for me and Adrian, a great friend and colleague of mine. Both of us are in the same project team, and we both resigned more or less on the same time. So we were treated by the rest of our cols to Steak @ Victoria's Station. (Thank you colleagues!).

OK im gonna stop with the Thank you's. I'm begining to sound like i won an academy award.

I had a bit of running around to do today.. was in SS2 during lunch for a photo shooting session. PASSPORT photo shoot. You think what? Got modelling roadshow going on there kah? Anyway needed to take some mug shots for an Indian VISA application. Yep, once i join my new company, i'm gonna be shipped to the Taj Mahal! No lahh No lahhh.. there's no Taj Mahal. I'm going to Hydrabad for training.

While at SS2, i got stopped by a couple of guys asking me to pledge donation for WWF. At first i thought, now lets see if i got any spare change.. RM1.. maybe, no, oklah.. generous abit. Give RM 2.00. Yeah yeah yeah, call me a stingy bastard assholes but i don't trust any sort of organized fund raiser where people run around the streets harassing you for money. Especially when they do it while you eat at hawker stalls. It fucking pisses me off! It makes you an ass for not giving, and an even bigger ASS for giving only to find out later in the papers the whole thing was a fraud. Well anyway, Mr. "Justin Yap" AKA WWF man (no relation to wrestling, just relations to the giant panda) told me out front that no cash was accepted. If i wanted to pledge donation i can do it via credit card. After explaining to me a fair bit such as how the transaction will be processed, how WWF will send me receipt for income tax deduction and convinced me the entire transaction was secure, i decided to pledge a monthly RM30.00 to WWF! Don't laugh k? It's better than giving RM1.00 and i'm doing this long term. Some more get income tax reduction, and a yearly WWF magazine (Why they wanna give mags i also duno.. suppose to be WWF but fucking supporting the cutting down of trees to print the fucking mags. Go e-book la!).

So anyway, there you have it! My first step to conserving the planet. Give to the tigers, pandas, and forest friends better than giving to income tax. Plus im helping secure clean water for another generation to come. And the next time someone asks me to donate while im trying to eat my Bah Kut Teh i'll tell them i'm already contributing to the organization of my choice.


Here's the pledge donor form i filled up. RM30 a month for as long as i want, until i terminate the donation. Show u letterhead enough. no need show my pariculars i filled up below.

Mr. "Justin Yap" your particulars are also here as witness to me pledging my donation. I find out this is a con you get ready to eat my Klang Knuckles.

I love pandas.... fat lazy bastards that eat bamboo shoots and crap all day. That's what i wanna be when i grow up!

In other non related news... It's nearly time to give up ol' trusty.. back to the arms of "the minions from hell".. You've served me well for the past 2 years i've worked with you. You run my Oracle, my tomcat, my SQL Server, my Solaris on VMWare perfectly fine.. You seldom throw tantrums and you always put up with me punching your keys so hard... I'm gonna miss you, but next week you need to go home for good, cause i can't take you along with me.. I hope your new owner takes good care of you. Farewell My Dell 6400...

I like Happy stickers. You got a fucking problem?

If you got a problem with happy stickers go fug yourself. You support happy on nuffnang, so you better fucking support happy stickers by sticking them on your forehead!

The worst event of the week was Mor-Mor ran away from home. He disapeared the day his sister Mew-Mew was sent for spaying. I think he tried to go looking for her, but never came back. A short distance from my house, there was a dead cat that had fur colour that looked just like mor's. He was squished beyond recognition. I can only pray it's not Mor. Muriel's back from the vet you dumb ass... you can come home now!

The only sane reason to join the army.

WAR on terrorism. War on your neighbour's cats. War on anything need soldiers. Thats right boys and girls, children of all ages. For the brave souls who fought the greatest battles all throughout history my hats of to you. You have the capacity within you to walk down the valley of the shadows head strong, focus and with a determination far greater than any other.

During world war II US soldiers were drafted. War on terrorism, hmm... no drafting just existing arm forces and those who signed up voluntarily. Makes me wonder why people can volunteer. Don't they watch Band of Brothers? Saving Private Ryan? With all that blood, guts, spits and ass blown up all over the god damn place, yet many still volunteer uncle sam's calling? I use to think it was because the army gave good education and reimbursement. Now im not so sure... could be because of the buffet line... chibai..

Giit your army fonts ere soldier! http://www.searchfreefonts.com/

Photoscape, here i come!

Leave it up to my 15 year old younger sister to teach me a thing or two about photo editing; in the quickest way possible. Huh, i've been using the freeware tool Irfan View for ages now when i need to do any type of photo editing, image cropping and etc.. especially when im drafting proposals and technical specifications. I guess its true when they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I've been working in IT for a good 8 years plus and although my job predominantly doesn't require me to dabble in image editing software it's still good to know whats in and whats not. Hey, i've experimented with Adobe Photoshop and of course Flash, Fireworks, Dreamweaver waaayyyy back since version 4 when it was still Macromedia's flagship product. Of course now, Macromedia's ass is totally owned by Adobe..

With my forte' being infrastructure solutioning on Wintel and Unix platforms, and Oracle Database Management I totally miss out on all the fun stuff. It's all hardware and SQL statements for me.. line... after line.... after line....

Well the old dog is determine to learn a new trick. I've procrastinated enough so going back to the jist of this post, today a 15 year old school girl AKA my sister, has introduced me to Photoscape! A tool tweenie boppers use to give themselves an 'emo' touch to the thousands of self-endulging pictures they take of themselves. Ya i know. When you're at my age, one look at those images when tweens do that 'peace' sign next to their mouth or forehead will leave you barfing all over shoes. But we must keep with the trend no? So lets start photoscaping!

Download it here. It's Free!

Installation steps: Figure it out yourself. If youre reading this post, chances are you know what to do. Do you know how to pee? yeah you do. So installation is a breeze.

What can photoscape do? well its basically an image editing software giving you all the abilities to pimp out your photos. Read about it at the download link i gave ya.

Couple of samples on what photoscape can do: Sample for the day... My favourite couple (and ex-couple) and my personal friends, the Cruises.


1# Mrs. Cruise

2# EX-Mrs. Cruise

3# Mr. Cruise himself

With Photoscape, i've added all the EMO goodness in less than 5 Minutes!

"ooOoOOohhh... look at me... aren't i just simply gorgeous??"

"HiieeeEeEeeEEEeeeEEee!! Like, many of you like say i'm the hubby stealer but hey! i can produce babies the scientology way, okayyYY!"

"Yer fucking bitch. FUCK YOU! I'll teach yer to steal my hubbie ya two-bit kangaroo turd licker! I'll grill yer face like a shrimp on the barbie!!!"

I'm begining to like this photoscape shit....

Tuesday is Hokkien Day!

Today is Hokkien day. Every Tuesday, Centerfold will be the center of excellence for Hokkien, teaching you all you need to know about the rightfully world's most used language after English. Today, we start with the basics:-

Wa - Me
Lu - You
Walang - We all

OK. You're good to go!

Ordering bah kut teh:~

Thao Kei! Hor wa chi gei lang eh ooi, ngo hueh bah mai lee-au... kam siah..
translation
"Respectable owner of this fine premise! Kindly provide me one order of bah kut teh (tender meat, no fat) for single seating do without any pork spare parts.. thank you..."

and to pay the bill.......
Thao Kei! Siu Lui!

Asking for directions:~ Probably to the bah kut teh shop...

Thao eh.. lu chai an-chua khi chi gei teh-hong boh?
translation
"Oh boss one, can you please direct me to this location (while pointing to a map, or address)"

Yelling at a rude driver:~ Who cut you off while you were on your way to the bah kut teh shop..

Nim bu eh neng le ahh! Hua chiah hua hor lai! Chi mi ah lu???
translation
"Your mother's eggs! Drive carefully! Are you blind??"

Stand off with the rude driver:~ Who saw you cursing at him just as he cut you off, when you were on your way to the bah kut teh shop and decided to get out of his car with his steering lock to teach you a lesson

Nim boh le ahhh! gia steeelllinngg lock lu siong nimpeh kia le ah? ho liau to kar wah eh thao! nimpeh gerenti lu ma-chai hor lu khun kua char!!!
translation
"Your wife, you! Think with your steering lock, i am afraid of you? If you think you're so great hit my head with it! I guarantee, tomorrow you will be lying in your own casket!"

At your funeral:~ For your friends to pay their last respect in hokkien

Khiang toh horr..... mai kei khiang ma....
translation
"Smart enough.... don't be too smart!"


Conclusion:- Never screw a guy in hokkien unless you have the balls to back it up.


DID YOU KNOW??

CHAP TUAN in hokkien means association.

Tell a friend!

JIN @ CoCo Banana...na na na....

A good friend of mine came back from Australia for a month's holiday after not returning for more than 3 years. Since he's flying off today, us group of friends most of which are ex school mates decided to give him a farewell at Coco Banana, Sunway... and what better way to do it then with beer?

YESS...... beer, the world's oldest and most popular alcoholic beverage. No one can resist it, many swear by it... then again, after a couple of bottles you tend to swear at everything else. Not to digress, my pal Banjo was served with a kick ass amount of beer from all of us.. with the pure intension of making sure he wouldn't be able to walk straight by the end of the night. Of course, the ultimate satisfaction would have been if we had to carry him out on a stretcher. Friends can be such assholes. But we do it with the purest intensions at heart. :)

Why coco banana in the first place? well, Bar Celona was having some kinda event so we decided to switch venues. Why Sunway? Simple. Near to klang. no road block. Drinking downtown is a real kill-joy. After 1 mug you get cautious about your alcoholic breath. Friggin' waste of time.

Anyway coco was having an event of it's own that night. Freestyle rapper Jin, Jin the MC, 100 Grand Jin, The Emcee.. the main man himself was having a roadshow there. Well for those of you who don't know who Jin is, he's a freestyle rapper; Miami Florida US of A native of Chinese decent. Do a wiki if you want more info.

FINE. Here's the wiki link you lazy bastards.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jin_Au-Yeung

Im into RAP. Freestyle, whatever. I just have a respect for rappers who can spit rhymes for a full minute straight with no full stop. and no shortness of breath! Amazing! I hate Akon.. Scandalous dweeb. I FUCKING HATE SEAN KINGSTON more.. what ever category of crap he's in. Anyway im digressing again...

SIGHTS NO SOUNDS OF BANJO'S Farewell..


Friends, some since kindergarten.. pushing 30 years of friendship. Fucking something to shout about mind you!

Stoned out of his god damn mind!.. And there was no use of Hallucinogen, weed or any form of drugs what so ever! Amazing!

One for the road. The next time you come back make sure it's with a wife and a kid.

Not very happy the beer was finishing....

The 51st Cleo's most eligible bachelor. The magazine didn't have enough paper.

I fucking hate that guy in the front with the glasses.

Jin the rapper, meet Jin the drifter, auto sports extraordinaire..

Bust-ing-a-rhyme; Jin ABC vs Joe C..... and some dude behind.

Jin had a couple of drinks at our table. I smuggled the glass he drank from out of coco. Im gonna sell it on e-bay. Starting price.... RM10,513.17. Open for negotiation. Email me for more information.

of tailgaters & world earth day

Traveling through Klang town Mondays to Sundays is a real bitch recently. Its bad enough you have impatient drivers on the road, the current construction taking place on one out of the two main bridges you can take to cross into the housing estates from Klang town isn't helping the traffic condition. Add a little bit of rain and you square a good 45 mins in bumper to bumper traffic for what usually takes a mere 5 mins to get from Bukit Raja toll plaza over the Klang bridge.

While driving back from work the last couple of days i'm greeted with that all too familiar sound of a roaring ambulance siren coming from behind. Naturally, the only right thing to do is move a side so they can get to where their heading. Two days straight, the moment I moved aside, some fucked up asshole cuts me straight off to tailgate the ambulance. I mean, what the fuck is up your ass pissant?? Don't you know you're more likely to cause an accident with that reckless driving?? and the sad part is there really is no differentiating who these assholes are.

Irregardless of age, gender, race or religion, these assholes spring out of no where to risk their lives and the lives of others so they can tailgate behind an ambulance just to get where ever it is their heading probably faster by 2 minutes. Jackass. Everytime i see some asshole do that i'm compelled to pull out my smith&wesson from my glove compartment and bust two caps in the fucking tailgater's rear wheels.

OK i dont have a Smith & Wesson. It's illegal.

But it still pisses me off to the high heavens everytime i see an ambulance tail gater. Jackass...

In other non-related news, today happens to be World Earth Day. Yeah, WORLD EARTH DAY. The day everyone remember how much damage we have done and are still doing to our planet. The day we stop to think, "hey yeah... actually i am abusing my planet to some extent.. Maybe today, i'll stop using paper cups and use a mug. Maybe today i'll read the document online rather than printing out all 50 pages, only to toss them out once i'm done reading it.." Today is the day the world, in unison stop to think about the damage we have done to our planet.

Tomorrow, we forget. and we go about our lives.

The truth really is inconvinient. Al Gore really hit the nail on the head.

I admit, i happen to be one who gets all hyped up about conservation just cause today's World's Earth Day. When i wake up tomorrow, i'll probably forget all about it. It's not because there is lack of awareness. i got ASTRO. ASTRO tells me everything i need to know. But ASTRO doesn't teach me how to inconvinient myself maybe just a little to save a little in return.

SAD... i'm no better than the tailgater...... same difference.

OKAY then again..... maybe not. That fucking tailgater is still a fucking jackass who deserves to be shot.

But starting tomorrow morning, im segregating my trash to paper, plastic and glass. Better set a reminder on my phone so i don't forget.